Monthly Archives: May 2011

The Standard of Beauty

The Standard of Beauty

“ Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”-Malcolm S Forbes

I believe you’ve ever watched the ‘fair and lovely’ beauty cream advert. It is about a girl who has everything but fair complexions, fell in love with a hot guy in her college but that guy did not give her a fervent glance. Disappointed with the rejection (and even blame her only inadequacy), another girl from nowhere came to her and gave a bottle of whitening cream which has a magic concoction to make her prettier in a week or so. Later, amazed by brand-new beauty, that good looking guy (or better I call him a douche) hooked up with her and everybody happy. That was how the story more or less.

But I found it misleading. It is like brain-wash propaganda to portray if you yearn to get the world’s attention; you need to be white and beautiful. The guys who turn off looking at you will immediately enticed by your (fake) beauty. Actually, this is a real thing happened in India, as reported on 101 east al-Jazeera. In India, real beauty is proving to be skin deep with a massive growth in the sale of skin-whitening creams. India’s obsession with pale skin has created a billion-dollar industry, with predictions it will grow in 2010 by 25 per cent. Endorsed by top Bollywood stars in TV ads, marketers lure consumers with a bewildering supply of products that promote fair skin that they promote with bring romance or a new job after the user becomes markedly fairer. True story, 2 university graduates applied a same job position. The underperforming one got the job while another, who possessed a first class degree, had to blame herself for not being sufficiently appealing (or white enough).

In the other part of Asia, plastic surgery is a compulsory ritual before entering the job market. It has come to be assumed that the South Korean population has the highest rate of going under the knife in pursuit of beauty, recorded 74 procedures per 10 000 per year in 2009 ( statistic according International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery). Asian people nowadays seem don’t care the undue cultural stereotyping anymore and has been brainwashed to feel inadequate as a person for not meeting society’s expectation of attractiveness.

According to Harold S. Kushner in his book,’ How Good Do We Have To Be?’, people hate their bodies, are ashamed of their bodies, because society has taught them that they are evaluated by their appearance. Their looks define who they are. They must fulfill certain standards of beauty to be envied with green.  Nearly most people I met amicably, they will express some sort dissatisfaction of themselves; their height, their skin, their protruding teeth, their hair etc.

Believe it or not, entire industries- fashion, cosmetic, whitening cream, perfume, low-calorie foods, best selling diet books, plastic surgery, weight loss clinic – have been built on the foundation of people’s feeling ashamed of their appearance. The advantages taken from our sense of dearth, our sense of being scrutinized and judged as well as our sense of procuring a glorified beauty. This dark humans feelings are yielding a great deal of money to cunning businessmen who secretly exploit our formidable emotion. In recession-plagued Thailand, even the government has recognized the money-making potential of plastic surgery. One could speculate that if all people especially women in the world were to wake up one morning feeling good about themselves, the global economy could possibly collapse.

 No wonder when Susan Boyle became an overnight phenomenon, awakening the hopeless soul, mesmerizing less-than-pretty people by saying,” I want to be like an Elaine Paige” confidently (though incoherent with the cynical audiences), she had received a death threat to undo her move from entertainment career. Probably because some big players are afraid of recession when more and more people to know their own intrinsic beauty.

I am not in a position to talk about beautiful. I am also not beautiful according to society standard. I admit that I don’t meet a requirement of perfect masculinity. Let alone I was once called good-for-nothing. But I want to propagate a sacrosanct message that the beauty counts in your heart rather than outward physical achievements.

                “Dan (ingatlah) ketika tuhanmu memaklumkan, “Sesungguhnya jika kamu bersyukur , nescaya Aku akan menambah (nikmat) kepadamu , tetapi jika kamu mengingkari (nikmat ku), maka pasti azab ku sangat berat”


                                                                                                                                                                Surah Ibrahim 14:7


Every morning I let myself to know that I am enough, not perfect because perfect never enough. I am still learning to a premise of beautiful heart comes from the purest gratification of who we are, what we get and how we are destined to be.

                “katakanlah, “Dialah yang menciptakan mu dan menjadikan pendengaran, pengelihatan dan hati nurani bagi kamu. (Tetapi) sedikit sekali kamu bersyukur.


                                                                                                                                                Surah al-Mulk 67:24

It is hard to mould our own beauty against the cult of artificial gamut of the beauty aspect. Me myself try hard to learn that gratitude is the ‘mother board’ in order to capture many great things in live.

   Ibnu Abbas RA menyatakan, Rasulullah S.A.W bersabda, “ Ada 4 perkara, barang siapa diberi empat perkara itu ,bererti dia telah diberi kebaikan dunia dan akhirat, yaitu;

-lisan yang selalu berzikir kepada Allah

-kalbu yang selalu bersyukur kepadaNYA

-tubuh yang sabar dalam menghadapi cubaan

-seorang wanita yang mahu dinikahi bukan lantaran takut celaka atau mengharap hartanya

                                                                                                                                HR Thabrani

Less Than Perfect

Less Than Perfect

I always remembered a guy named Solihin during my junior high-school. He was just nice to me and quite bright. I vividly recalled he taught me mathematics which became a yawning subject to me after Arabic language. Notwithstanding, I couldn’t fathom why most people in the school reprimanded his existence even the teachers. I noticed he was always neglected by everybody. The teachers always scolded him as if he was a bane to their career. Boy-oh-boy!

He had a funny voice which became a lame joke to my friends. I thought this was the starting point from all the fuss he made. I believed he didn’t like to be a clown, a laughing matter for his unwanted imperfection. He even didn’t wish to be born that way. He always being teased at and eventually end up into a fight. The teachers blamed him causing trouble. To make people pay him some respect, he started joining a bully gang in school and befriended with hooligans. He was a teenager and confuse, but nobody ever cared. The school’s counselor even made the case worst. I still remembered a teacher from the head of disciplinary board called the hooligans and him on the stage during early morning assembly and told the crowd, “this is the trouble maker in our school”. Feeling unfair from the heartless action, I swore from that day, I wouldn’t choose being a teacher as my future career for the rest of my life. (geez…I hate to recall them!!)

He eventually expelled after several suspensions. He had forgone any significant change and the next generation of thugs still lingered around.

 I still believe that he has the ability to shine and has a lot more potentials to be discovered. If I could just roll back the time, maneuvered against the notion of the popular believe and convince him personally that he needs not to take those sneers seriously and pull himself together with confidence, things would NOT be the same again. Somehow, I feel bad about myself that I don’t tell him earlier.

I’m not intended to show that I am attentive and to demean him in this post, but it always comes to my mind, why people always bother the other person’s complexes, somebody else problems which occasionally, he or she has no problem with it at all? What was bugging them so much? What are they trying to reflect from a broken soul they have demoralized?

For numerous times, I always being judged and told off what I should and shouldn’t do, do and don’t, seemingly I was born without prefrontal cortex to think and to feel who I am and only have the temporal lobe to listen to their wish, from the way I walk to the way I talk.

Needless to say, everybody wants to be born ‘PERFECT’. But we have to realize that being less than perfect is a part of human values. Value that teach us the virtue of losing, humility and accepting. A vicarious lesson that the world is imperfect, impermanent and incomplete. We tend to take the shallow judgments from the shallow people literally and figuratively. We feared what is the cursory perception or in the other words, the first impression, about us. After all, we are dejected and bemoaned our failure for not living their expectation. In the end, we figured a wrong definition of failure equal to imperfection rather than equivocally we fail to learn the virtue behind it.

Sometimes, our demand for somebody else perfection is completely absurd and unrealistic. Solihin wanted to have a voice as soothing as Michael Bubble supposing the God is the way too democratic. He would like to do a vocal cord transplant if such procedure ever exist (which apparently not).

“ tetapi boleh jadi kamu tidak menyenangi sesuatu ,padahal itu baik bagimu dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal itu tidak baik bagimu. Allah maha mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui”

                                                                                                                Surah al-Baqarah 2:216

Most of the people I met with such judgmental attitude actually have their own share of weaknesses but they refuse to admit. They always feel insecure within themselves and with their current condition. Rather, they would use the other people disadvantages as a weapon to imprison their own flaws. They definitely have some issues to work out about themselves than keep patronizing people. These sore losers never learn their own mistakes and keep repeating the same mistakes again ( and keep blaming the outsider again). I seriously cannot understand why these creeps use their emotional projection to call the other people fatty, mocked people appearance, tell people to butt out because you are not my clique and the most imbecile above all,to tell people to get a life when they can’t handled their own live properly. What a sore loser!!

Jabir R.A mengabarkan, Rasulullah S.A.W bersabda,

                “sungguh orang yang paling aku benci dan kedudukan yang paling jauh dengan ku di antara kalian kelak ialah orang yang banyak bicara dan menyakiti orang lain melalui lisannya, serta orang-orang yang angkuh”  (HR. Tarmidzi)

A Murderer and the 2 Clerics

A Murderer and the 2 Clerics

During my primary school, I’ve been told a tale about a murderer who had killed 99 bodies and he felt guilt for his grave mistakes. Then he went to two equally clever clerics.

He met with the first cleric. He said, “I have killed 99 people. What should I do? Is there any space left for me to repent? Would God accept my mistakes?”. The cleric became wrathful and furiously telling the murderer,“ you idiot! Don’t you know that killing even one body will make you a great sinner?  Don’t you know the repercussion of your diabolical liking? You will burn in hell at the deepest, darkest, and scariest level!!. You better repent now before it’s too late!”

Unhappy with the cleric answer and overwhelmed by dissatisfaction over the judgemental remarks, the murderer took his sword and assassinated the cleric. Now, he has murdered 100 people.

He then went to the second cleric. He asked the same questions to the cleric. The killer already expected the answer he would get and this second cleric would be his next victim. However, he was completely flabbergasted when the cleric benevolently said, “ I believe you already know that you make a terrible mistake. But let me tell you this, God prefers the broken and contrite heart that knows its failure and mistake over the complacent and arrogant one that claims never to have erred. I also believe that you know you will have to earn the punishments from your wrongdoings, but you also need to believe those punishments are not the sign God doesn’t like you. He doesn’t like what you did, but he still loves who you are. He still loves you as he loves me unconditionally.” Moved by the cleric’s words, the hot-blooded murderer shed his tears for the first time and repented.

Both clerics said the same things; you made a terrible mistake and will be burnt in hell. However, why the killer murdered the 1st cleric not the second one? It all lays on the art of giving advice.

I believe most of you can be corrected but cannot stand to be judged. We perfectly know what is good and evil, like the murderer had a conscience of guilt about killing innocent people. He is not a psychopath who has lost his conscience and no sense of shame at all. Our brain is so well-developed that we have a judgement area called the frontal lobes that interconnected with several hippocampal components and amygdaloid nucleus forming a limbic system. A limbic system is our emotional brain. We feel bad when we make mistakes and try seeking for comfort. It’s all happened in this system. But, in any scientific studies, there is no part of brain that can process the significant difference between 2 difficult choices. So inevitably, we are prone to make mistakes.

The problem here is how to tell the people they did wrong (not he is wrong) and made them realize. Most of the times of my life, I come out with the people like the 1st cleric. They rather tell me, I am wrong. I still contemplate the effectiveness of giving advice by swearing illicit, derogatory words to certain kind of people, tell them a good message in a harsh way. I managed to ask my friends WHY and all of them give me fairly similar answers; “it is only the way out for the people like that. He did wrong and I felt sinful to just let them be”.

I remembered a quranic verse saying about this (my apology I can’t found the translation in English)

“ Sesungguhnya  engkau (muhammad) tidak dapat memberi petunujuk kepada orang yang engkau kasihi , tetapi Allah memberi petunjuk kepada orang yang dia kehendaki , dan dia lebih mengetahui orang-orang yang mahu menerima petunjuk”

                                                                                                                                                Surah al-Qasah 28:56

As a good friend, we want to see our friends do better in live. But we have to be fair. We should not kindly preach the people we think they will listen and give the wise advice in spiteful manners, be it cursing, insinuating or worst, scorning, to the others. We deserve to tell the kindness so that they will change but they also have a right to disdainfully reject our message. In a nutshell, we do the deeds God asks us to do and the rest, just let the God handles it.

Work from your Strengths not Weakness

Work from your Strengths not Weakness

The following is the story of one 10-year-old boy who
decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his
left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The
boy was doing well, so he couldn’t understand why, after
three months of training, the master had taught him only one

“Sensei,” the boy finally said, “Shouldn’t I be learning
more moves?”

“This is the only move you know, but this is the only move
you’ll ever need to know,” the sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the
boy kept training.

Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first
tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first
two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult,
but after some time, his opponent became impatient and
charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match.
Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more
experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched.
Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a
time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei

“No,” the sensei insisted, “Let him continue.”

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical
mistake; He dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his
move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the
tournament. He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and the sensei reviewed every move
in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage
to ask what was really on his mind.

“Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?”

“You won for two reasons,” the sensei answered. “First,
you’ve almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in
all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that
move is for your opponent to grab your left arm.”

The boy’s biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.

come to join the moral investment project~

come to join the moral investment project~

i might not introduce myself properly.

i am a 3rd year medical student from Malaysia.i am malay and absolutely competent in Bahasa Melayu. Despite malaysia is known as bilingual country where english is widely spoken and become our second language ,i still do not dare to say that i am competent in english. perhaps because i wasn’t raised among english educated family background so i have to strive harder than the  hope,you’ll apologize me if i make some silly grammatical errors or the usage of particular word is inappropriate to the sentence.i am free to be corrected(but i can’t stand to be judge,i will explain later about this).so i think,write an essay on whatever topic i like,mostly about humanity, will further increase my confidence and competence in english language.

furthermore,i just a common guy who ain’t smart(enough),handsome(enough) and rich(enough).just a ‘somewhat’ verdict.hahaha.

thankfully,i’ve got the government scholarship to pursue my dream in medicine or otherwise i’ll just be somewhere and somebody know,the tuition fees are darn can say that i was quite lucky as i didn’t expect at all to get this dream was pretty mediocre at that time,”okay,i have to pass the national exam (SPM) and enroll for matriculation and if i were freaking smart,i will reach my childhood dream to be in med school.”

anyway,here i am.

as i said before,i’m not come from well-off family.i still remembered the moment when i became mischief and disgruntled when my mum reluctant to buy me some sort of anime miniatures in the street while waiting for the bus home.she said “i have something more important to do with these money from buying a toy which you would shatter in the end.i still immature at that time to innocent childish little brain think that she doesn’t like me considering i just have a few toys to play with.

as i grown up,ventured into trials and tribulation and more hurtful life,i began to understand what mum said is won’t get your happiness as long as you do not appreciate the petty things given in your life.’a few toys’ i had end up in the trash but yet,i was asking for more. i didn’t treat my toys well.sometimes i lost it and at times,i broke open my toys without thinking that i really need them back someday,the moment when my childhood imagination run wild and creative.

so the first step of the moral investment project starts within ourselves.

we often ignore simple things appeared in our daily my previous post,we always tend to get the idea of being happy means you have to take the moral demand of human’s life seriously.become sexually attractive,become genius in math and arts,become filthy rich and glamorous.and the worst,become somebody we’re not. come on~there is more to live that having those craps.

therefore,lets become more gratifying upon something or someone you usually take for granted and you would eventually  know that you must be more appreciative first and then a lot more great things will flow into your life.